The Evil 25…

February 13, 2009 at 12:29 pm | Posted in bong, King markiV returns, life | 10 Comments
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So, yeah… I got tagged… Quite obviously, since my blogging frequency has come down to one a year, and considering I lost that two followers I had the day I started including rationale in my writes, it makes sense not to expect too much of a push from my fellow bloggers. Shame on you!

Well, this time, its a tag from Facebook, thanks to Giri. And the tag rules are almost too simple to not seem stupid. Except that they are…

25 Things about me! 

Oh, yes- I got a smart one… Let me use “Me” in third person. Like “Me” is an interesting creature, originally from the tropical rain forests of Beasant Nagar, and violently transplanted to the Just-As-Bad-If-Not-Worse jungles of AmrieKa.

OK. Stop. If you found this line of thought funny, I seriously suggest you mine Orkut profiles of high-school kids for soul-revealing humour. 

OK, that said Im going to answer this one in all honesty. And truth. And honor. As usual.

1. Im a genius. My third standard teacher told me that in the year 1992 (approx. when I was in third grade). And I’ve believed her word ever since. I don’t keep contact with her though, in the fear she might have sobered up by now!

2. I don’t like people. As in, not your ideal socio-path types, but I just generally look at fellow mortals as moving blobs of ideas, logic, a bit of knowledge, sufficient alcohol, spare change and bubble gum. Funnily enough, most of my social circles and the discussions thereof circle around why social circles and the discussions thereof are so pointless.

3. I detest movies. This is probably an extension of rule 2, but Im not really your theatre kind of person. You’d have to drag me by my big toe to get me go to the movies. I think its just the effort involved- youtube seems good enough!

4. I don’t care. And this one statement probably wouldn’t be shattering that thin fabric of crap-paper you call your heart if you ever knew me, and wouldn’t matter if you did not, but I just don’t. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I couldn’t care less to offer an explanation.

5. I am NOT lazy. I don’t exactly come across as the honey-let-me-do-the-dishes-and-the-laundry-while-you-work-your-appetite-to-eat-the-dinner-i-cooked person. But that is closer to “stupid” than “hard-working”. Most often I expect to be the person at the receiving end of this conversation. But that again is “Wishful Thinking”, not “Lazy”.

6. I have a moderately inflated ego. Just a bit. But well, Im a genius and I know it- what do you expect.

7. I get bored. Pretty easy. With stuff, work, humans… I think it is a creativity thing. Or, a real mental disorder. Either way, its at least fun!

8. I am not extremely religious. But my religion lets me do that!

9. I love exaggerating about the poverty levels in India and watch firangs’ eyes go all crazy. Like the other day I was telling one of my lab mates how the government rounds up all the poor people in slums in India and neuters them so we don’t have any poor people in the next generation. Got one of those priceless expressions!

10. I hate it when people assume I must know EVERYTHING about computers, programming, mobile devices, space shuttles and alternate fuel technologies, just because I got my bachelors in IT. Or even when they assume I must know anything about it at all. Haven’t you even HEARD of Charulatha Publications?

11. I have a very powerful faculty of reason. I can reason myself into doing anything stupid.

12. I love my temper. But who doesn’t, right? Except that I have spent years with the great Shaolin Monks, mastering my emotions, that now when I try to get angry I end up being more laughable than scary- the MoJo JoJo types. 

13. I think. A lot. 

14. I love hearing about me. Not from the ego-inflating part- Its fun to hear your juniors and those that just weren’t there “spice up” a bit of nothingness just to make their story look good and end up giving you a surreal larger-than-life legendary image, just because you were unfortunate enough to have been in the scene.

Note to my PSBB punch-makers: I did not beat him up in school. I hardly even pushed him. And I definitely did not run around the block twice chasing him and his hoodlums down with my gang. One- he did not have a hoodlum. Two- I did not have a gang. And Three- You cannot run around the block- there was a wall blocking a full round, remember?

15. I have an interesting mood pattern. Happy->Unproductive->Bored->Depressed->Productive->Happy. Repeatable.

16. I hate it when people take arguments personally. And I hate it to have to break down my logic more than once. Even if it makes me sound profound.

17. I don’t care about music. In fact, up until pretty recently, Id get a headache if there was music running in the car. I have an IPod I barely use, and a big sound system with sub woofers and all that that just lie around to remind me of my humble beginnings in technology. Im n0t giving them away.

18. I love my decision making/ taking capabilities. Instincts, Logic, Coin flip and Google. Not necessarily in that order though. “I-Wonder-What-This-Button-Does” kinds.

19. Im a scorpio. I love that sign and all but I hate all these astro-guys for their claims. What, are all scorpios supposed to be the same? Then what makes us any special? Except for Sagittarious though. Im glad I wasn’t born in that pig sty planet!

20. I ve never been too enthu about sports. Thats just a nice way of saying someday, I will rise to become the evil overlord of the world and will ban the Cricket, hang Arvind and Karthik* upside down in the Kilpauk stadium and have every former cricket player whack his rear end with the bat! And then burn them. The bats, I mean. For now.

(*Mottai maadi cricket champions circa 93-94, merely because they were each 6 years older than us, did all the batting, and made us “next gen” kids run down 4 stories to pick up the ball while they celebrated the glory of their unfocussed, badly aimed sixes from our 15X10 feet terrace!)

21. I kind of like history. From an anthropology angle. I hate geography. We had a history-geography split up in high school social stdies, with 60 for history and 30 for geography and 10% for civics and economics. Id get a nice 50 odd in history. My high school social never crossed the 65 barrier. Go figure!

22. I have an awesome memory for important facts. This does not include dates, numbers, names, faces, appointments, promises and the likes. 

23. I think I experiment a lot. Some people call it “fooling around”, but yeah- that’s just them!

24. Im a fast person. I need to get things done when I feel the heat. Right here. Right now. The ideal gestation period of my idea is between two hours and a week.

25. I blog. Markiv is the inverse of the name my parents gave me, in case you still haven’t figured it out. I know it isn’t the most creative, but I love my name. Especially when the firangs pronounce it like “Wee-Kh-Wom”. I don’t like it when the use the “Wee-Kkum” version. That’s a whole 60% reduction from the original.

No More Mushy Business

February 19, 2008 at 3:16 pm | Posted in bong, King markiV returns, life | 7 Comments
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No, this is not another post on love. In fact, this is just the opposite. Mushraff is out! And finally, you might say. But to non-skeptics like me, this is the end of a beautiful era. An era of unprecedented (presidented?) comedy and almost a daily dosage of fun… Especially over the past year and how!

In fact, given past data, I had almost typed a post out ready on how our old general would pull a rig here and one there and continue his rein until he died of Tuberculosis, assassination or public hanging as is the custom in the Pure Land. But to rewrite history? And how!

Apparently, following a few million miles behind anything significant, PML said it would be willing to join a ‘coalition’. With the victors who’s prime purpose in life has been to reinstate ‘democracy’ in Pakistan. I love politics.

“Obviously, the nation has spoken through the ballot. We couldn’t convince them. They have rejected our policies and we have accepted their verdict,” PML’s Tariq Azim Khan told Reuters. “For the best interest of the country, we’re willing to cooperate and work with anybody.” [Source]

Hasn’t the country been screaming this view for close to half a decade now? Some people will always need statistics to back their every breath.

According to some quick surveys, the reasons for PML’s defeat was Mushy’s unpopularity, inflation, food shortages and power cuts. I cannot believe someone would actually hate such a funny guy, but then, people have always been unreasonable. And if I were there I’d be happy that there’s inflation. At least that stands as proof of an economy to have existed in the first place! But power cuts? Are you kidding me? They got electricity already?

But jokes apart, I think this is truly a turning point in history. If the husband Bhutto ends up winning, I could even go as far as to include him in my conspiracy theory! Mushy, although mixed with a great deal of humor and temper bouts, has been quite a change in a nation where school level science has lessons such as ‘making gun-powder and IEDs from house hold gadgets’ and ‘how to kill a Hindu in three steps’. His pinnacle to world peace must have probably been the extermination of every fifth guy walking on the street wearing a black t-shirt. Lesser humans, lesser wars, right! [Not Bull shit]

The turnout was close to 35%, with only 20% rigged votes. Ingeniously, since most riggers were citizens themselves, there was a record count of 15% valid votes- another first in the state!

A bit of confusion over the 70 seats reserved for women and religious minorities. According to Congress wouldn’t the entire population there be minority?

Disclaimer:
The same as with other sensational posts- I am not me and have nothing what so ever to do with myself or the likes.
This is NOT the truth. This is MY opinion. Watch the 10’o clock news for an opinion that would be called the truth.
I love Pakistan and all her citizens. Especially citizens with guns.
The comments here are moderated. Don’t flame me.

PS: It would have taken me at least late tomorrow afternoon to have gotten this info from the papers, considering I did not even remember ‘D-Day’! Its all thanks to Swamy and Yiktik.Com that got the info clearly categorized and easily accessible. I’d recommend you to really give it a try. I’d also recommend anyone coming over to murder me to try him instead!

[Edits]

Read the papers. So Musharaff did actually get a stumbling defeat. But adding insult to injury is the state of current affairs in world politics- No more Mushy dictatorship in Pakistan, Fidel Castro says he’s bored of being dictator and killing American spies in Cuba, and Bush is off his term of being universal dictator. Looks like Obama is fast coming up on top, and thats going to spell a world of difference to the War on Terror. Speaking of which, did you realize that Obama is just one letter away from Osama? Coincidence?

 

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