Thus, another Avataaram

July 3, 2008 at 2:05 pm | Posted in bong, King markiV returns | 6 Comments
Tags: chennai, cinema, dasavatharam, kamal, kamal hassan, markiv, movie, multi role, rajendar, t rajendar, t.rajendar, tamil, tr

My theories are often counter intuitive, but this one had me totally surprised. Just ended up watching Dasavatharam and didn’t feel anything spectacular about it. Just another color-color flick…It must be all that hype that surrounds the act that raises expectations to levels that can never be achieved, finally just ending the victim up with disappointment regardless of the initial worth of the act. It happened with Sivaji, and now with Dasavatharam again. And mind you, I am quite a fan of both super star and world hero (corny name).

But that’s not what Im going to be getting at. What worries me is that Tamil movies, like any other big-money business tend to follow a proven track of success. That is, until the track is sufficiently worn out, raped, plundered, withered, dried and gone. There was a college movie phase, seeing the invent of the likes of Prashanth and early Ajith. An initial success until there were movies with anybody who just stopped their scooter (this is the early to mid 80s) near AVM studio. A beat up story involving the hero riding a Yamaha RX100. Standard Ctrl+C scenes would include a college tour to a hill station on a beat up bus (with a banner saying “College Tour”), song, possible rape of asst heroine or attempted rape of heroine (heroine must always be virgin- even if married, divorced or with kids) by college rowdy. A few hundred movies with the same plot, story line, song sequence and long shot scenes until it stopped selling.

Then an action movie phase, a non-fighting romantic hero phase, police phase, criminal phase, zamindar plot phase, hero-comes-to-pattinam phase… And that’s what scares me. With Dasavatharam turning heads already, I hear Rajini’s coming up with 20 roles in his movie.
The trouble is, there’s a good chance that movie would run as well. It’s the Super Star for Christ’s sake! But it wouldn’t end there, would it? Lets just go ahead and extrapolate the consequences. How many could have the heart to take 25 Vijays in one movie? And Ajith fans wouldn’t be too far behind either. But that’s not what scares me either. At least these guys make entertaining masala.

So I just go ahead and imagine the icing of multi role movies- the true apple of our eyes. But to make the task simpler, lets put in the Dasavatharam plot. Only lets cut budgets by removing Kamal, Ravikumar, Himesh, the light and camera crew and all the other actors, extras etc. Starring TR!

A great actor needs to create a great space around himself. The plot revolves around TR, a DoD laurete who researches on integrating WMDs with poetry. An eloquent repeat of “Thatti Paathen Kottangachi” results in the gruesome creation of little superstar. In a parellel run, thousands of years ago homo sapiens hunt down not-yet-evolved cross bred human-bear populations. This part, like the original, has nothing whatsoever to do with the plot, except its one extra role for our hero and no makeup! Heres a rough of TR on this role:

 

Basing my trust on the readers creativity I shall stop short with the plot and just give the equivalent of each character:

 George Bush: Veerasaamy as the all powerful MLA because both always end up getting me in splits of laughter. No matter how serious they are.

The police guy: Vakeel Dhada from Kaadal Azhivadillai as the bringer of justice because they act pricey and have a nasal tone.

The scientist guy: The Kaadal Daasan from Sonnal Daan Kaadalaa (that wise love guru+ poet) because both are the inventors of the WMD but end up acting like heroes. Couldn’t find a picture or a video of this so if you find one do send it across.

The dumb tall guy: Cameo dance in that Vallavan Song. The acting required, and elasticity of movement is just the same.

The Japanese Marital Arts guy: The martial arts expertise and timely punch dialogs during the fight… Who else but Vaa Daa En Machi.

That sand quarry guy: The witty lawyer speaker. There couldn’t be a better fitting role- both guys talk too much and look disgusting. Although one tries to look good- TR doesn’t need to TRY!

The Paati Role: Our hero could never get down to being a woman, let alone an old hag. But delirious and stupid- a definite!

The Singer dude: The sad thangachi sentiment role that shot him to stardom- boring!

Ex CIA Villain Guy: I couldn’t find a part where our guy could even be remotely bad, but the closest I get is this.

Oh and by the way, if such a movie did come you could be sure I’d even buy black tickets to watch it!