Dogs don’t Piss me off

December 11, 2007 at 10:42 am | Posted in bong, King markiV returns, work | 11 Comments

Have you ever noticed a dog relieving its sub level pressures? On first glance it is kind of unnerving to think about smelling, tasting and rubbing on the surface before you open it to your golden gleams. Not for Stinky Poo, the white dog just out of office (name changed cos the damn thing responds to ANY sound!)

To you and me its just getting rid of some extra fluids and dissolved ammonia. But to the dogs that’s territorial marking. Apparently, dogs use their bowels as weapons limiting boundaries. Still pretty primitive, you might be tempted to say. But while we, as humans, resort to bullets and fire and electric fences and nukes killing, murdering and butchering our own race look at the simplicity of the lower species. URINE!

Now just take a moment to get your critique hats off and get into Stinky Poo’s shoes… Or the lack thereof…

Imagine a world where we limit our boundaries with our liquids. Investing on land? Don’t waste time on sale deeds and NOCs. If it doesn’t smell of ammonia already, its all yours for the taking. Lets even go a step further. There won’t be any more disputed territories. No destructive wars. Pak says J and K belongs there, we say its here and Kashmiris say they’re independent. Fastest pisser first!

And wars! That’ll be an entirely new ball game (pun? Not really). Now Bush just has to fill in ballistic missiles with huge amounts of collective excreta payload. Its raining, Saddam! Defense will now consist of massive umbrellas and tents. Defense research would probe on faster spread, more invasive urine. A whole new arena to military advancement… The only problem is that falling motivation levels would lead to more and more soldiers getting pissed off with the government. But that’s a minor glitch…

Another amazing effect of such a view point would be the economic impact. Since more people would need to take a leak more often and in greater quantities, beer is going to become a sought after commodity. And public toilets can no longer be public- it’s a property of the last pisser. Therefore I can envision government pissifiers salaried to take a leak and reclaim the property after every user. That means more employment opportunities on the unskilled segment (it does require a certain skill, though).

Such amazing technology that would cause zero war mortality, remove paper work from business processes and reduce unemployment… And I can already tell you- its going to get scorned off like my million other brain waves!!!

btw: heres a picture of Stinky Poo and his latest land deed

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11 Comments »

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  1. Good one…

    But one doubt…
    What happens if some one pees on the same place where already a person had peed apart from the fact that the place will stink more… how will you decide whose teritory it is?

  2. >>Defense research would probe on faster spread, more invasive urine. < <
    Nice.

  3. U r full of piss!!!

  4. @prabhu- thats what the pissifiers are for. you are only allowed to piss on an unpissed territory… in case there is any kind of transfer only the govt authorized pissifiers are allowed to de-piss the area before the next hand (or part thereof) can claim piss rights.

  5. @shyam: thanks
    @jollyroger: aren’t we all at some part of the day… and its cold december… but of course you should know my bowel activities… you re the guy hiding in my urinal aren’t you!

  6. If you’re thinking of putting down less than 2 words, heres a list you can Ctrl+c Ctrl+V from:
    Nice | Good Post | Interesting | Good | !! | Thanks | Great Post | Yeah | Gooood!!! | With you 🙂 | Really??? | Long time! |

    Whoaa, thanks for the help there blogger people!
    Moving on…

    You seem to have really really dug into stinky poo’s shoes. 🙂

  7. who let the dogs out? who who WHO WHO? =P

  8. Is there anything you just WONT blog on? 😛

    Enlightening though. Very. (lol)

  9. uhm…..imagine biological warfare – mebbe it wud initiate research on stuff that stops u from pissing? 😉 ….

  10. […] However I’m sure most must have at least in passing envied the not-so-evolved kinds that abound the planet. Considering the effort involved in finding and impressing a mate, falling in love, meeting the parents, getting raised eyebrows from “Uncle”, tying the knot, getting more raised eyebrows from the “Uncle”, disclosing savings that scratch the bottom of the vault and more embarrassing Uncle-talks, not to mention the initial effort in buying coffee, wearing washed/ pressed clothes, buying food, buying a car, buying a house, and often times finding a day job, the life of a dog does look impressive. One month a year with all the babes you can get on that street before you run in to the next. [For further info on Dogs and Territorial markings read here] […]

  11. […] it’s not a one-off thing either. I wrote eloquent literature on the pee-ability of dogs and how that helps world peace. And on how the slimy dribbles of snot can change the technological […]


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