I Forget…

September 20, 2007 at 7:20 am | Posted in bong, How To, King markiV returns, life | 5 Comments

Right from the wake, I knew there was something different about today. Perhaps just a gut instinct, but I couldn’t quite point the figure at something. I tried to think of the dream I had, but to no avail. Was it the same as yesterday? Maybe… Try as I might, I could not close it down…

The coffee was cold and stale. Is this how I like my coffee? I am not too sure. The last time I woke up in time to drink the coffee hot was at least half a decade ago. Or was it? Has it been that long? DO I really like coffee? Is this coffee in the first place?

Settling down with the paper. The Hindu has always brought me sufficient read to enhance my mornings. Always? Did I not prefer Deccan Chronicle for pure entertainment purposes? Considering the Hindu is pro communist, should I not loathe it? Do I? Am I anti communist??

Anyways, shifting to the actual news in the MetroPlus column, my eye falls on an interesting article about Alzeimer’s Disease. I remember to link it down for reference.

The story talks about the probability density of Alzeimer’s amongst the ‘post 80 but still alive’ populous at one in five, and the density greatly reduces amongst the younger crowds. Since the probability doubles with every 5 years post 65 and comes to 1:5 at 80, it must be approximately 1 in 10240 at the age of 25. However, since the factors are much less pronounced at the younger ages, the ratio comes to about 1 in 1,000,000. My peers have always told me that I am one in a million. Now that gets me scared. If only I can remember what it was…

Still not convinced (probably since it took me ten minutes to get through each word, by which time I forgot what it was), I dedicatedly mapped each of the symptoms to incidences.

Difficulty in performing simple tasks such as making tea: Sheeks, I realized I couldn’t make tea. In fact, I have never been in the know how all my life. I must be a severe case!

Forgetting appointments and meetings: Strike again! Mobile alerts, google calendar alerts, and reminders on my desk, while I overlook my inability in the previous quote to drink tea made by the obviously non-Alzeimer nair outside office.

Language Difficulties: Totally. I cant get Hindi beyond ‘Mera Naam Markiv Hein. Mein Das vi Kaksha Padutha hoon’. Too bad it had to metamorphose into the official high society babe lingo just when guys were evolving from Machan to Dude!

Confusion of place and time: Happens all too often. I once woke up at 3 in the morning and demanded Curd Rice from the room service (across 7 seas and mountains). Of course, I would now know that the apparent blame on Jet Lag was merely superficial

Lack of Judgment, such as being insensible to traffic: I lived in Bangalore for a good half a year

Problem with balancing cheques: I tried making a cheque leaf stand on one finger… Gets blown away every time! You might blame the wind, but we both know beyond reasonable doubt what the real reason is!

Misplacing keys and keeping objects in inappropriate places: Keys are perrineally misplaced, so much so that they have carved themselves a place on the couch. And keeping things in inappropriate places- I wear my wallet on my butt (with a little length of cloth in between called the trousers)

Mood fluctuations: Too often. I realize I fluctuate from happy (salary time), to spend thrifty (first 10 days), to miserly (last 10 days) to anticipating (last few). Hungry at 11, stuffed at 2, hungry at 4, full at 9, sleepy at 11, and more sleepy in the mornings.

Changes in personality: Depends on who I am

Lack of initiative: Life is boring enough for me to write a length on an article from MetroPlus!

So I realize its something serious. I had to remind myself- Gajni style. And the tattoo I printed reads ‘MetroPlus AD’. I try to remember what it was about ‘Hagar the Horrible’ that I so badly wanted to write about….

So, do you think YOU are demented? Tell me why and if its good enough I’ll forget it!


This post was meant to be purely humorous, so if this actually offends you in someway, don’t read it.

Alzeimer’s is a condition that cannot be prevented, but with early care it can surely be controlled to make the patients lead a better life. Check these guys out for more details

I forgot what point three was.



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  1. i suffer from all the mentioned symptoms… am i also affected…

    LOL good post dude…
    “Lack of judgement…” is too good

  2. There was a point in my life where I was dead serious on researching AD, and applied to all these lab postions. Now I’m so thankful I didnt, my g’ma recently died from it, and it such a painful type of death. But I like your way of looking at it… It cheers me up about it, in a wierd way..

  3. hey, me too! me too!

    Difficulty in simple tasks : Commenting on a blog post
    Forgetting : lost count of the number of crushes in the last month. Indha bangalore irukae…
    Language Difficulties: After 2 yrs, yet to get a hold on Java
    Lack of Judgment : I read your blog.
    Misplacing keys and inappropriate places: now where are those damn socks…
    Mood fluctuations: edhuku double meaning a dhan badhil varudhu
    Lack of initiative: it’s 3.30pm and i’m working from home with no idea of going to office todayChanges in personality: Kadavul paadhi, mirugam paadhi!

  4. On reading all of the mentioned points in your blog, I haea feeling that you have an innate ability to reflect ‘my’ disorders as well 😉
    Chill mate…you’re just as normal as any kid in the block.
    Memory these days is not as good as it was in me grandpa’s age 😉


    P.S. Tag accepted with humility

  5. uh- oh, the last time a saw this blog, these 3 posts were no were around :O …. ummm…. “was it a decade” ???

    btw, did i tell you> I suffer from multiple personality disorder….

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