The American Duck!

May 5, 2007 at 9:49 am | Posted in bong, work | 5 Comments

In a serious conversation, one of my American clients gave me the deepest insight into the American mind- the biggest mantra in marketing. The truth about why doing business in the Americas is so different from doing business anywhere else. Why the American market is bigger than that of the rest of the world put together.

Looking through my analytics, I realize that a great chunk of my traffic is from the Americas, followed by my own country and sporadic bursts from Europe, A-Pac and Australia. That my blog has a world wide readership is sure a source of pride. That I get a lot of traffic from India is no surprise either, considering the local issues I raise (such as… well… the socio-economic stuff… ok- edho namma locals ku puriyara maadri inga ange irukku ille!)
But the big percent form the united states is really something to ponder about. I get about 50 different IPs tracked from the states everyday. Now subtracting my Indian friends who apparently went there to study but had ended up spending their lives in Orkut and Blogosphere either with pictures like “Me on Third Street in California” or profiles which go “Missing Mom’s Thair Saadam”, that still leaves us with a sizable number- I could safely assume about 20 new hits a day (which is still sizable!). What makes this even more worth pondering is the fact that the time spent by these guys is about 15 seconds- definitely not enough to read a post. And quite obviously, they don’t leave their comments.

After a detailed study, painstaking data accumulation and deep analysis (all of which took the 5 minutes ride to work), the answer hits me right on the face.
Americans have disgustingly low attention spans.
While the rest of the world is making love, the Americans have it easy with just Fuggin around!
Anyways, whatever the reason, I know I will have to as much capture my white audiences as well, so in a humble attempt, I write my American version (for American readers ONLY)

HI!

Whew! That was short.

The mantra to the american mind comes back stronger and truer- “Remember- Americans are Ducks!”

PS: If you are a non-american taking offense at the stuff above, I make it clear that in no way is this an insult to the country or the good, nice, kind hearted, anti-terroristic, peace loving peoples it houses. It is because of their short attention spans that the American market is a paradise to start-ups. It is this same short attention span that makes marketing there so much more interesting

If you are an American taking offense, id say the same thing as above, but as a rule abiding American you are not supposed to be reading this far!

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5 Comments »

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  1. a couple of things here :
    1)most ppl in sw jobs use their client’s vpn access a lot so that the ip address is gonna be that of the US of A
    2)the short times spent on the page could also mean they open the page to check for new posts in vain.

    i stand accused of the above 2, but also of wholly agreeing with everything in the post

  2. ingayum vela relaterdava… 😛
    HI! vikaram
    LOL!
    good one man

  3. @santosh: danku for the agree part… ya.. i do realize the vpn ips get tracked down here… but really? tht many sw guys on american networks here? wow!!!
    @prabhu: enna panradhu da… apdia aayiduchu
    @anon: aah.. finally a sane screamer here… proud of you mate… so i see u were really over worked that you had to squeeze time to get into orkut, read through the gazzilion spams, find mine, click through, read an entire article, and finally realize im jobless?? and mindless??? well, danku for runnin thru ma blog AND ma orkut and still be content that you spend your 24 hrs better than the rest of the universe!!!!!

  4. Read thru spams? Great assumption.
    I am content about my 24 hrs? Again great assumption.

    I didn’t claim things. But hey I’m not the one going around saying “I get a gazillion hits on my blog and I’m going to correlate it to American business” or connecting some such random achievement to a theorem that ends up with no proof. Catch my point?

    If you still get pissed and cannot take criticism constructively, give up your blog or make your blog private so that only your friends can read it and pamper you with their always “agreeable” comments.

    Anyway dude, is that the best you can do? Make terrible assumptions about the person who makes you feel low cos of some random blogcomment? Common don’t you have more self esteem than that to make such low level retaliations?

  5. lemme make it short:
    theorem without proof- its a proven analytics
    give up your blog- it really isn’t fair to take this only spec of joy from your otherwise boring life
    is this the best i can do- yes


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