Thank You, PSBB

May 29, 2007 at 1:16 pm | Posted in life | 7 Comments

Back in my school days, I always found it kind of over-senti when older and wiser minds sang about how school is so amazing, and how the days gone by would never come back. Actually I still think it’s a little too much.
True, my days at PSBB KKN were truly amazing. I know that life will never return. But if I want to play catch and live that carefree life, with 2 months of holidays after a year of just having fun, and investing daddy’s 2 rupees on ABH rasna and bhel puri, I’d have to be a retard. Which I am most often, but still…

I mean, its only human to compare and reminisce, right? My married colleagues tell me how wonderful bachelor life is, and how its never going to return. And those with kids think about the days of private intimacy before the crying maniac came in. And then, the folks are always about the days when kids were sissies when they’re all grown up.

Yes I love those days, and I love today. And definitely being a highly advanced species (So says Darwin), I thank yesterday for what I am today.

In that respect, I can never forget those days. After all, 15 years of your life is a really big percentage when you are just a little over 2 decades yourself!

Chancing upon the site today stirred a lot of emotions and memories. Little flashy flashy images zooming in and then slowly fading away, to be replaced by another clearer, more powerful image…

The announcement. The glory of the day when they gave me that badge. “Vikram Bhaskaran- SPL of PSBB…”
The school pledge that I f***ed up… Hamsa Ma’m giving me sound advice at least thrice. Every week.
The fights with Harsha.
The backseat romance movies by the “Classroom Romantics”
Adzap and JAM. Victory in every culturals in the city.
Doctor screaming “Vikrem Baaskaeer”, with a half irritated, half scowl and a teensy weensy apparent sarcasm…
Comedy interludes… Fights… More comedy… Fights… Sights… More sights…. Fights because of sights…
More screw-ups.
Srimathi ma’m classes. Bunking them. Standing outside with the “I was abducted by aliens” look the next day as she screams “Eruma Maadu”…

And then, the first crush, first visit to the principal’s office… friends solidarity… friends betrayal…

For the sage truth to learn from every one, and shape a better person.

Thank the few that showed me what I was meant to be, and the many others for what I’d rather not.

Thank you for teaching me ‘working of a nuclear reactor’ and ‘integral calculus’ and ‘rotational motion’ and ‘forces’ and ‘Muma Priyam Kavihi (Sanskrit)’ and ‘Reticulate venation’ and ‘covalent bonds’ and ‘The Highway Man’ and ‘Ogden Nash’ and cursive writing and the English alphabet.

But even more, thank you for making me what I am…

To Swamy, Viggy, Sai, NA, Varun R Dass, Vinay, CA, Abhi, Shyam, Karu, Mama, Bhuvi, Govi, Usha, Janani Natrajan, Harsha, George, Ann, Meenu, Koushik, Peter, Gundan, Siddharth, Shreya, Prabha Sarangi, Mitchelle, Prabha S, Shama, Naraen, Athulan, AK, Sandy, Nisha, Rohini, Guru Bhaskar, Deeraj, Shruthi, Sharanya, Usha Ma’m, Jaishree Ma’m, Doctor, RaVey, Mangi, GeGo, MaSa, G.V, Geeta Ma’m, Padmini Ma’m, Hamsa, C.S and the million others for the lift ups and put downs, the braves, taunts, support and ridicule, Love and Spite….

PS: The site has like a thousand broken links and the alumni lead page is dead end, but i think its just under construction. Lookie the cool ‘Holiday Homework’ and other floating “flash news”. Takes me to the nightmarish memories of AnnaUniv results link, but its really good. Just wondering whoever does the holiday homework!!!!

Sexy aint Security!

May 22, 2007 at 1:34 pm | Posted in King markiV returns, life | Leave a comment

A great trek to the silicon valley of India. I knew better than to expect anything more than a stiff leg and an aching back to attract me to KPN Travels (on a different note, why are Travels in present perfect? Wouldn’t it be better to put in something more noun-ish, like say traveller or travel-channel??)

Anyways, it must have been a wonder how I slept so bad, but i woke up to realize my mobile was not in its usual places (front pocket- check, side pocket- check, ear- check).

There is always a time that calls upon remorse and guilt. The ghost of my ex mobile- the big fat old 6600 haunted me that day- in my pursuit of a slimmer, sleeker, easier model i had effectively called off the amazing security features that the big gal offered. I cannot remember a single moment when i had to question her presence. She was always there, stuck like a wart. And if by happen chance she departed, i could feel the buoyancy on my trousers.

Not now, with the stylish model I got. Yes, she was the dream when she was. A bountiful when I needed her. Violent sounds to grab my attention. The gentle caress as I held her close. And when I had more pressing tasks at hand, she would lie quietly. Always with me, but springing to life only when I called for… Taking as much joy in silence below. So much that she could have as well not been around, magically appearing just at my call. That was the greatest glamor that i saw in her.
And that has been her greatest downfall. The love still holds. But as with every relationship of this genre, death, escapade, failure or hatred- getting back is never an option.

The short of it, my phone was flicked a few days back. Quite obviously with the sim, memory card and all (of course, the charger and the handsfree is still with me). I now got a contraption of a mobile simply because i cannot like any mobile more than my RAZR and I still dont want to get back to her, now that she’s gone.
So for communication purposes, please drop a mail to: local_lollu@yahoo.com
with your NAME and MOBILE NUMBER and ill call you, or just reply with my number if that gets too expensive.

The American Duck!

May 5, 2007 at 9:49 am | Posted in bong, work | 5 Comments

In a serious conversation, one of my American clients gave me the deepest insight into the American mind- the biggest mantra in marketing. The truth about why doing business in the Americas is so different from doing business anywhere else. Why the American market is bigger than that of the rest of the world put together.

Looking through my analytics, I realize that a great chunk of my traffic is from the Americas, followed by my own country and sporadic bursts from Europe, A-Pac and Australia. That my blog has a world wide readership is sure a source of pride. That I get a lot of traffic from India is no surprise either, considering the local issues I raise (such as… well… the socio-economic stuff… ok- edho namma locals ku puriyara maadri inga ange irukku ille!)
But the big percent form the united states is really something to ponder about. I get about 50 different IPs tracked from the states everyday. Now subtracting my Indian friends who apparently went there to study but had ended up spending their lives in Orkut and Blogosphere either with pictures like “Me on Third Street in California” or profiles which go “Missing Mom’s Thair Saadam”, that still leaves us with a sizable number- I could safely assume about 20 new hits a day (which is still sizable!). What makes this even more worth pondering is the fact that the time spent by these guys is about 15 seconds- definitely not enough to read a post. And quite obviously, they don’t leave their comments.

After a detailed study, painstaking data accumulation and deep analysis (all of which took the 5 minutes ride to work), the answer hits me right on the face.
Americans have disgustingly low attention spans.
While the rest of the world is making love, the Americans have it easy with just Fuggin around!
Anyways, whatever the reason, I know I will have to as much capture my white audiences as well, so in a humble attempt, I write my American version (for American readers ONLY)

HI!

Whew! That was short.

The mantra to the american mind comes back stronger and truer- “Remember- Americans are Ducks!”

PS: If you are a non-american taking offense at the stuff above, I make it clear that in no way is this an insult to the country or the good, nice, kind hearted, anti-terroristic, peace loving peoples it houses. It is because of their short attention spans that the American market is a paradise to start-ups. It is this same short attention span that makes marketing there so much more interesting

If you are an American taking offense, id say the same thing as above, but as a rule abiding American you are not supposed to be reading this far!

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